Friday, May 21, 2004
-tears of regret? what's the use?-
As predicted i failed the subjects that i mentioned earlier. I think i can go and be fortune teller already. Till now i only passed english and chinese. What am i supposed to do? Like i said before also, i cried today when i got back my papers. The e-math paper was the first blow. When i received it, i knew that my predictions were to come true. That was the first cry i had today.
Second time. After recess, seeing all the people around me getting good grades and all, smiling and eveything, i could no longer put up my bravefront. The tears just dropped. I don't suppose that they can understand how i feel because they would never know the feeling of passing only two subjects.
Some advice people gave: "its only the mid year, everyone also had very poor result."
The problem is, their poor results means b3 and b4. i seem to be the only one failing in so many subjects. Everybody is like passing and getting good grades and everything, but not me. I really want to know just what is the problem with me?!?!?
Maybe i'm not "studying the right way" or not getting "expert help". Or maybe i never "spend enough time" on my studies. What am i suppose to do? Mug everyday? The problem is, i can do my common test properly. But when it comes to major exams like this, i just lose it. Am i just plain lousy? not prepared enough? or i just can't do well under this type of situation? i know i studied real hard this time round. But why? Why are my results like that? What if o levels i also freak out like that and not do well in anything? This is really starting to worry me.