Sunday, August 08, 2004
-fireworks!-
today was quite a busy day for me. In the morning, i went for add math tuition as usual. I left early to attend my cousin's wedding at The Pines. Met another of my cousin to go there together because she did not know how to go. The wedding lunch was very nice. It was a buffet style lunch but i only ate vegetables and cakes. The cakes were especially delicious. Guess i am going to put on some more weight.
After that, i went to far east with my family. Shopped there till my leg ached from the constant walking that i did. The worse thing was my ankle had not healed yet. After all the shopping, my mother said she wanted to go watch the fireworks. But my cousin was still shopping so she went off first. then she called me and asked my family to join her. I went to ask my father and he said, " Don't want. Our family has changed. She does not care about the family anymore." [she=my mother]
i just sat there stunned, at a lost for words. Thoughts plowed through my head. Why was my father saying these things? What is he going to do? Will they divorce? I have already noticed that there was something wrong with the both of them since the day my mother lost her job. They were not as loving as before and they started to speak lesser and lesser to each other. I really don't know what to do. what if they really want a divorce? what am i suppose to do then? My sister, being the younger one, seems oblivious to the things that are happening between our parents. Or am i just being over sensitive? In the end i accompanied my mother to watch the fireworks while my sis came home with my dad. On the way to meeting my mother, i shed tears; tears of fear. Afraid that my family will soon fall apart.
i am still very afraid now. I really dare not think of what will happen if this continues. The stress of the upcoming o levels is already too much for me to handle. i really cannot handle another worry. I need somebody to confide in, a shoulder to cry on. But who am i to turn to?