Thursday, August 12, 2004
-pray..-
just here to jot down my thoughts lest i get lesser and lesser time to come online. Recently, i wrote a post about the problems my parents were facingand the fear i had. Well, i prayed and now, all's well again. Prayer is a powerful thing. Pray and read the bible. Do quiet time.
today was the release of the chinese 'o' level results. I heard that many people broke down crying even though they got an A2. I was shocked. Isn't an A2 good enough? its either my standards are too damn low or their expectations are too high. For me, i got an extremely horrible grade but i was still all smiles. I guess my expectations are really not very high. However, after awhile, the people around me and their sadness soon got to me and i started thinking why i got such a horrible grade. This worrying got me thinking about my o levels and what if i did equally bad for the important o's. this led to even more what ifs such as: what if i failed? what if i scored lousy grades and did not get into the course that i wanted. all these small small thoughts accumulated and they became one big worry which causesd my mood to plunge. i am starting to think that i am taking things too easy and i should really buck up. that's what i have been trying to do. the last 2 days i have been staying up till 1 plus to do my work. i realised that i can study better at night and with tea. But since i;m still studying the next day, it does not give me much of a chance to stay up late longer.
Actually, the lesser you sleep the more awakened you will be. At least that's for me. i seem to be able to concentrate better if i do not sleep so early at night. so yah. Gonna go back to my work now. tataz.