Friday, August 12, 2005
-Story again-
My name is josh. There was this girl that i held very dear to my heart. She was a rather popular girl in school and she could get along very well with guys. I became one of her close friends and we often hanged out together.
At first i only treated her as a friend but slowly, as the day passed, i realised that i had developed feelings for her. Everytime i was with her, my heart would race and each time she walked close to me or brushed her hands against mine, my face would turn beet red.
Because she was such an outgoing girl, she had many guy friends. I soon found out that there was another guy that liked her too. Upon hearing that, my heart sank. I knew that it was impossible between us but i still harboured a shimmer of hope. Now i knew that it was totally impossible.
I tried all ways and means to forget her but i could not. I would see her in school everyday and there was no way that i could avoid her. Everytime she talked or smiled at me, it just made it a little more difficult to forget her.
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During this time, another girl appeared in my life. She was the shy and quiet type. I could not remember how we started talking but she was there when i needed a listening ear. Very often, i would pour my troubles out to her. She would just sit by my side patiently, listening to every word i had to say.
One day, i began to look at her in a different way. She was just a very plain jane but there was something drawing me towards her. We could talk about anything under the sun and she often made me laugh.
Then, i finaly mustered my courage to tell her that i liked her. She did not give me a straight answer. Instead, she avoided my question. I immediately regretted what i just said. Would i lose a wonderful friendship because of the silly thing that i just said? But the next day we still continued talking and joking as if nothing happened. I still did not know how she felt and i was pretty anxious to know the anwer. However, there was nothing i could do if she did not want to say anything. I did not want to destroy our beautiful friendship.
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The thing that i did not know was that she knew about the girl that i liked before. She was afraid that she was being used by me as a substitute to forget that girl. Come to think about it, was i really using her as a substitute? I believe that one cannot have a change of heart so soon. When i was down, she was there for me and naturally i used her to fill up the emptiness in my heart...